The following is the transcript of a phone conversation my brother and I had on my piece.

Sammy: Hello?

Zach: Hi, are you there?

S: Yeah I can hear you.

Z: Alright I'm gonna try and make this short and sweet.

S: Okay I like that.

Z: So you read my piece.

S: Mmhm

Z: And you liked it hopefully.

S: Mmhm

Z: And I listened through your responses and they were very good, but I have a few follow up questions as well. So I guess to get started what was your biggest problem with the piece? I know you said it made you feel like kind of an outcast or something, um, or like more of an outcast than you actually were. Was that your biggest problem or did you have, you know, another problem?

S: Um...hmmm....Yeah I guess that would be my biggest problem. There weren't really many other problems with it. That was really kind of the center of the piece...my family adjusting to it. So I guess it's just about my family coming over the hump in that sense. And being the hump that your family has to come over makes you feel kinda weird.

Z: Yeah I understand that. Ok, swinging back in the other direction, so what was your favorite thing about it?

S: I like how it represents a lot of the rules in our household. Like our dating rule, and just the overall strictness when it comes to, um-

Z: Romance

S: Yeah, romance.

Z: Yeah, yeah. Well that's our cross to bear I guess. How's your love life going?

S: Umm, it's it's ok. It's up and down. Nonexistent for a while.

Z: Yeah that's not what I heard.

S: No?

Z: Yeah.

S: From who?

Z: From you mostly!

S: What? Like what?

Z: Like Boston.

S: Yeah, but that was, like, a couple months ago.

Z: Alright that's fine. I mean you're doing better than me when I was your own age.

S: I know, but quality over quantity Zach.

Z: Yeah that's a good point that's a good point. Maybe quantity drives quality?

S: *laughs*

Z: Alright let's see. What else do I got for you? Do you agree with my depiction of Calabasas?

S: Yes. I think it's very true that nobody directly bullies anyone.  It's just, like, silent chatter.

Z: Yeah it's very subtle.

S: It is. But also at the same time I don't agree with the making a big deal about choir and dance thing. Because that's not really a big deal at Calabasas.

Z: Yeah...I mean you would know more about it than I would.

S: Yeah and I don't get any problems for it. I mean what are they gonna do? Call me gay?

Z: *laughs* Yeah that'd be a real roast of you. Oh, here's a question I have written down that I don't think you're going to love answering, but I'm gonna ask anyway: how's Andrew doing?

S: *laughs* Oh god. He invited me to his play. He's still crazy and blonde.

Z: Yeah that kid's a psycho.

S: He is a psycho. I mean I don't talk to him anymore since he tried to, you know, ruin my life basically.

Z: So you're not going to his play I take it.

S: Yeah probably not.

Z: Ok what else? I liked your piece of advice to someone about to come out. Oh I also liked that you agreed with me on the Dad portrayal.

S: Because I feel like a lot of people see him as a saint and they don't realize how difficult it is to live with him.

Z: Yeah so, like, I sent the rough draft of the piece to Grandma, and Grandma basically just ripped me a new asshole for my portrayal of our father.

S: Oh yeah I talked to her about it last night.

Z: What did she say?

S: She was just like, "my biggest problem with it was that some of it was unfair to you and Dad.

Z: Yeah and I don't know. I think the rough draft was a little bit harder on him. I tried to rework it to be a little bit more understanding on where he's coming from and his angle in the final. Because, um, you know us and him don't necessarily see eye to eye on the issue.

S: Oh yeah definitely.

Z: But I tried to be a little more understanding. So if you could change anything about the way things unfolded in real life, what would it be?

S: Ummmm...hmmm....um I think I would be a little more cautious. I mean there were signs that Andrew wasn't necessarily a good person. I'd be less naive.

Z: Yeah but it's easy to say you'd be less naive in hindsight though.

S: Yeah exactly. I mean that's what made me less naive.

Z: Yeah I mean...I kind of had a similar thing with my first relationship so I can't really judge.

S: Yeah but she wasn't really quite as psycho.  

Z: Well nobody's really quite as psycho as Andrew but Sarah's not...you know...

S: Stable?

Z: *laughs* Yeah stable, normal, or whatever that's for sure. Ok do you have any questions for me?

S: Umm...was it really, like, like a big deal to you? Because the essay kind of glorifies the difficulty of it.

Z: Yeah I mean it wasn't a big deal necessarily kind of because I'd been waiting for so long. It was a big deal in the kind of context in which we were raised I guess is how I'd put it.

S: That's true.

Z: I mean just from the background that we had growing up. You know, Rush Limbaugh on the radio all the time, The O'Reilly Factor-

S: Glenn Beck.

Z: Yeah we were really sort of shunted toward one side of the spectrum politically. And I guess approaching it from that angle it's a big deal. But like for me and you I didn't really think of it as a big deal.

S: Yeah I guess in our family it was more of a big deal than like in the actual world.

Z: Yeah and, like, especially for like you. And there's that story I always tell about how, the day before you came out, you were in the kitchen baking red velvet cupcakes and singing along to Wicked and I was just like-

S: Oh no regrets

Z: *laughs* and I was just like...I just did like a double take and was like "oh...this is one of the gayer things I've ever seen.

S: Damn. Didn't know I'd be getting roasted.

Z: Not that there's anything wrong with that!

S: *laughs* Yeah yeah sure. I kind of wonder sometimes about how Mom would've reacted.

Z: How Mom would've reacted?

S: Yeah.

Z: Yeah that's something I didn't really touch on in the piece. I just sort of left that unspoken as to what was going on there. But, yeah, that's a good question. I mean I didn't really want to drag her storyline into the story. I wanted to make it about you.

S: Yeah and really she has nothing to do with it.

Z: Well...I would say she has something to do with it I guess in the presence of her abscence so to speak. In especially you being a little bit more feminine, and not really getting that feminine influence.

S: Yeah that's true that's true.

Z: Yeah that's a good question. Because she was very conservative. And she was very religious. But at the same time, like, you and her were always very close growing up. Like you were definitely closer to her than to D-

S: Yeah I think she would've understood. I think it's kind of a thing that you don't really get until it happens in your family.

Z: Yeah but...I dont' know. I mean it's really easy for us to, uh, I don't even know how to say it...glorify maybe? Like it's so easy for us to just be like, "oh yeah she would've done the the right thing because she always did the right thing!" But in this specific situation I think she would've did the right thing.

S: Yeah. I think so.

Z: So what's on the horizon? What does the future hold for Samuel Kumar?

S: Oh, you know...successful career in theatre. Um, you know, a guy who actually cares about me and somehow miraculously meets my dad's approval.

Z: Hey I'm a guy who cares about you!

S: Aww thanks brother.

Z: Yeah, you need like an athlete. You need an athlete for Dad's approval. I think that would help.

S: Yeah, I mean, I just want...I think being a nice person is underrated. 

Z: That's deep.

S: Yeah just being a caring person. Someone who doesn't lie pathologically.

Z: Setting that bar real high there.

S: *laughs* I know. 

Z: You basically want not a sociopath.

S: Yeah.

Z: Well I hope you find that person. I'm sure you will.

S: I will. But there's no rush.

Z: There isn't. You've got a long future ahead of you. Well thank you for taking part in this, and letting me write about you. You've been very helpful and made my life very easy.

S: Oh it was no problem.

Z: Well thank you anyways. And I will talk to you soon.

S: Okay.

Z: Thank you again, and I love you.

S: I love you too